Do I know you? Or do I know about you?
Have I clicked the like button? Or have I engaged in intimate conversation?
Can I recite the rules? Or have I experienced a life of change?
Am I a fan? Or a brother?
One of the hallmarks of a full on, complete follower of Jesus, is the desire to know Him intimately. If we can’t identify where Jesus has intersected our life experience, then we are deluding ourselves in believing we have an actual, real, living relationship with Him. Much of what we call relationship with Jesus is really fandom. We have become Jesus fans. We’ve clicked the “like” button. But we know very little of experiencing Jesus in the reality of our lives.
Perhaps we’ve download the faith app. Expending the effort to learn His likes and dislikes, attempting to find out what He’s all about and how He wants people to live. Unfortunately it’s possible to know about Jesus, even attempt to live the way He taught us to live and still have no real connection with Him. Are we just a fan, following a celebrity we have never really met? Do we talk about Him, but never experience the reality of interacting with him?
Jesus called me a brother, the Father called me a son, have I lived in the experience of this truth?
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Walking Around Naked
In the year when King Sargon of Assyria sent his commander in chief to capture the Philistine city of Ashdod, the Lord told Isaiah son of Amoz, “Take off the burlap you have been wearing, and remove your sandals.” Isaiah did as he was told and walked around naked and barefoot.
Then the Lord said, “My servant Isaiah has been walking around naked and barefoot for the last three years. This is a sign—a symbol of the terrible troubles I will bring upon Egypt and Ethiopia. For the king of Assyria will take away the Egyptians and Ethiopians as prisoners. He will make them walk naked and barefoot, both young and old, their buttocks bared, to the shame of Egypt. Then the Philistines will be thrown into panic, for they counted on the power of Ethiopia and boasted of their allies in Egypt! They will say, ‘If this can happen to Egypt, what chance do we have? We were counting on Egypt to protect us from the king of Assyria.’” Isaiah 20
So what’s the deal with Isaiah having to walk around naked? Did he really live life buttocks bared for three years? Was this a symbolic “nakedness” or was it really a man walking around sans clothing.
Either way, symbolic or real, it spins me trying to imagine having to live in the vulnerability and shame of what God called him to do.
So how do you live day to day when God, trying to make a point, asks you to be naked? Do you have coffee with people? Do you do dinner at the neighbors? Do you attend the family picnic? How do you interact in your circle of relationships? How do you meet new people?
I’m pretty sure if God asked me to live the next three years with my butt bared, there would be people, myself included, who would ask, “Are you sure? Are you sure God told you to do that?” I’m sure the phrase, “that can’t be God”, would be uttered a few times.
And that is what really spins me. I make the assumption that God would never ask me to do something as odd, or embarrassing as what He asked Isaiah to do. I’m afraid that my ability to hear God’s call closely correlates with how uncomfortable it makes me. The higher the level of unease, the less I can hear.
So I’m asking the question, “Abba, what am I missing for the sake of my own comfort? Open my eyes to where my presuppositions of You keep me from actually hearing your voice.
Then the Lord said, “My servant Isaiah has been walking around naked and barefoot for the last three years. This is a sign—a symbol of the terrible troubles I will bring upon Egypt and Ethiopia. For the king of Assyria will take away the Egyptians and Ethiopians as prisoners. He will make them walk naked and barefoot, both young and old, their buttocks bared, to the shame of Egypt. Then the Philistines will be thrown into panic, for they counted on the power of Ethiopia and boasted of their allies in Egypt! They will say, ‘If this can happen to Egypt, what chance do we have? We were counting on Egypt to protect us from the king of Assyria.’” Isaiah 20
So what’s the deal with Isaiah having to walk around naked? Did he really live life buttocks bared for three years? Was this a symbolic “nakedness” or was it really a man walking around sans clothing.
Either way, symbolic or real, it spins me trying to imagine having to live in the vulnerability and shame of what God called him to do.
So how do you live day to day when God, trying to make a point, asks you to be naked? Do you have coffee with people? Do you do dinner at the neighbors? Do you attend the family picnic? How do you interact in your circle of relationships? How do you meet new people?
I’m pretty sure if God asked me to live the next three years with my butt bared, there would be people, myself included, who would ask, “Are you sure? Are you sure God told you to do that?” I’m sure the phrase, “that can’t be God”, would be uttered a few times.
And that is what really spins me. I make the assumption that God would never ask me to do something as odd, or embarrassing as what He asked Isaiah to do. I’m afraid that my ability to hear God’s call closely correlates with how uncomfortable it makes me. The higher the level of unease, the less I can hear.
So I’m asking the question, “Abba, what am I missing for the sake of my own comfort? Open my eyes to where my presuppositions of You keep me from actually hearing your voice.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Monday, August 22, 2011
An Eternal Yarn
As I ponder the idea of God expressing Himself in color, I considered Glory of the Lord as revealed between the cherubim, I curiously wonder, “What did that physically look like”. At first I am stuck with my picture of white, like Revelations chapter 1. But further reading in chapter 4 finds a very colorful revelation of God, since color is so important to God, He might choose to physically manifest His glory to Israel from the Ark of the Covenant in the same colors He chose to for the priestly clothing.
Along with color, I am curious as to what shape or form God would choose for his glory. As He asks that we not make an image or likeness of Him, I believe that the shape God would choose to take would reflect Himself, yet not be confused as a “likeness” of Himself. I like to think that an eternal God would reveal Himself in a shape that best represents eternity to a mind that is bound by time. A sphere best illustrates eternity for me.
I see spheres in everything. The sphere of our universe. The sphere like shape of the galaxies. The sphere shapes of the planets, all the way down to the sphere of the atom, including the sphere shaped things that make up the atom. I like to think that the physical shape of our soul would be a sphere.
In my imagination, this eternal sphere is expressed as a strand of reality connected in an infinite loop, wound around itself talking the form of a sphere, existing as a solid object, complete and whole from any viewing angle. I think it’s possible that God revealed His glory between the cherubim as a sphere, swaddled in the colors that He chose as important.
The “eternal yarn” is four colored strands tied together. Unwrapped they would form a large ring. Wrapped around themselves they create a sphere, an eternal sphere with no “beginning” and no “end”. A picture of eternity. Representing the infinite God interacting with us, connecting the finite with the infinite, making it possible for us to be in relationship with God.
The picture is what I imagine the glory of God looked like enthroned between the Cherubim. The “eternal yarn” is a physical attempt to express what I imagine. It being an expression of the idea as I’m not sure I can ever physically create what I see in my imagination.The following scripture are some of the scripture that inspired my imagination for the use of color, shape and location.
Exo 28:4, 5, 15 These are the garments they are to make: a chestpiece, an ephod, a robe, a patterned tunic, a turban, and a sash. They are to make these sacred garments for your brother, Aaron, and his sons to wear when they serve Me as priests. So give them fine linen cloth, gold thread, and blue, purple, and scarlet thread.
Exo 28:15 “Then, with great skill and care, make a chestpiece to be worn for seeking a decision from God. Make it to match the ephod, using finely woven linen embroidered with gold and with blue, purple, and scarlet thread.
Exo 25:22 I will meet with you there and talk to you from above the atonement cover between the gold cherubim that hover over the Ark of the Covenant. From there I will give you My commands for the people of Israel.
Num 7:89 Whenever Moses went into the Tabernacle to speak with the LORD, he heard the voice speaking to him from between the two cherubim above the Ark's cover—the place of atonement—that rests on the Ark of the Covenant. The LORD spoke to him from there.
2Ki 19:15 And Hezekiah prayed this prayer before the LORD: "O LORD, God of Israel, You are enthroned between the mighty cherubim! You alone are God of all the kingdoms of the earth. You alone created the heavens and the earth.
Eze 9:3 Then the glory of the God of Israel rose up from between the cherubim, where it had rested, and moved to the entrance of the Temple. And the LORD called to the man dressed in linen who was carrying the writer's case.
Psa 80:1 For the choir director: A psalm of Asaph, to be sung to the tune "Lilies of the Covenant." Please listen, O Shepherd of Israel, You who lead Joseph's descendants like a flock. O God, enthroned above the cherubim, display Your radiant glory.
1Ch 28:2 David rose to his feet and said: "My brothers and my people! It was my desire to build a temple where the Ark of the LORD's Covenant, God's footstool, could rest permanently. I made the necessary preparations for building it,
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Lament
Truth and beauty seem but a rumor, a fleeting notion, a glimpse, a glance, and then vanished.
Love and peace seem but distant melodies, barely audible, a cry of the heart, beset with life’s noise.
Justice and mercy seem but a dream, a soul’s desire, rarely tasted, lost in the polarized confusion of “what is truth?”
Life, this ashen figurine, dancing just beyond the straining hand, collapses into dust on contact.
Love and peace seem but distant melodies, barely audible, a cry of the heart, beset with life’s noise.
Justice and mercy seem but a dream, a soul’s desire, rarely tasted, lost in the polarized confusion of “what is truth?”
Life, this ashen figurine, dancing just beyond the straining hand, collapses into dust on contact.
Monday, March 14, 2011
I Will...
I will cry out to you.
Not as one with no hope.
Not as one in a panic.
Not as one at the end of their rope.
Not as one in free fall.
I will call out to you.
As one who chooses to believe.
As one who desires to be a part of something bigger.
As one who understands that humility is the foundation of reverence.
As one who quietly waits, choosing to listen, choosing to stay open.
I will listen for You.
Knowing that Your plan is infinitely bigger then just my existence.
Knowing that Your eternity includes infinitely more then just my reality.
Knowing You see the beginning from the end all at once.
Knowing I only see what’s behind me and where my foot now lays.
I will wait for You.
Not as one with no hope.
Not as one in a panic.
Not as one at the end of their rope.
Not as one in free fall.
I will call out to you.
As one who chooses to believe.
As one who desires to be a part of something bigger.
As one who understands that humility is the foundation of reverence.
As one who quietly waits, choosing to listen, choosing to stay open.
I will listen for You.
Knowing that Your plan is infinitely bigger then just my existence.
Knowing that Your eternity includes infinitely more then just my reality.
Knowing You see the beginning from the end all at once.
Knowing I only see what’s behind me and where my foot now lays.
I will wait for You.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Hard Hearted Mercy - Part 2
Jesus replied, "Moses permitted divorce only as a concession to your hard hearts, but it was not what God had originally intended.
After letting this idea roll around in my soul for a while:
There is the real possibility that my heart can become so hard toward God that He has to step back from his original intention, acknowledge the hardness of my heart, and lay out my life’s path to accommodate my heart’s refusal to submit to Him. (see post “Hard Hearted Mercy”)
I’m overwhelmed by God’s mercy. God knows well my heart’s hard spots, and yet makes His love available to me unconditionally. I’m well loved, hard spots and all. What grace, to love me so. What mercy. His desire to be connected catalyzes His choice to make connection possible no matter what path I choose to take.
It’s like coming to the realization that everything your heart has every cried out for was always yours, you just didn’t see it. I tend to see the negative side of things. We’re so sin twisted that God has to make concessions for our hard hearts. I’m grateful for the reminder that God’s concession is a personal experience in mercy. His concession is His deep heart’s cry to be connected to us. Mercy always leaves an open door. Grace invites us to come. Love gives us the strength to walk through it. Connection and intimacy wait on the other side of the door. He chose to make it possible. I choose to walk through.
After letting this idea roll around in my soul for a while:
There is the real possibility that my heart can become so hard toward God that He has to step back from his original intention, acknowledge the hardness of my heart, and lay out my life’s path to accommodate my heart’s refusal to submit to Him. (see post “Hard Hearted Mercy”)
I’m overwhelmed by God’s mercy. God knows well my heart’s hard spots, and yet makes His love available to me unconditionally. I’m well loved, hard spots and all. What grace, to love me so. What mercy. His desire to be connected catalyzes His choice to make connection possible no matter what path I choose to take.
It’s like coming to the realization that everything your heart has every cried out for was always yours, you just didn’t see it. I tend to see the negative side of things. We’re so sin twisted that God has to make concessions for our hard hearts. I’m grateful for the reminder that God’s concession is a personal experience in mercy. His concession is His deep heart’s cry to be connected to us. Mercy always leaves an open door. Grace invites us to come. Love gives us the strength to walk through it. Connection and intimacy wait on the other side of the door. He chose to make it possible. I choose to walk through.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Hard Hearted Mercy
Jesus replied, "Moses permitted divorce only as a concession to your hard hearts, but it was not what God had originally intended.
Think about it, my heart can get so twisted and messed up that God’s original intention gets lost to the point where He chooses to make concessions for my hard heart. That blows my mind. There is the real possibility that my heart can become so hard toward God that He has to step back from his original intention, acknowledge the hardness of my heart, and lay out my life’s path to accommodate my heart’s refusal to submit to Him.
My first response is to ask, “Where are the hard, dead spots in my heart?” What do you intend for me that my heart, in sin, is so twisted up, that You have said, “Okay, here’s what we are going to change so you don’t totally and utterly destroy yourselves?”
For someone who’s pursuing after Jesus, seeking to live a life that is right, the idea that there may be something in my heart that is so entrenched, so hard, that Abba has to make allowances for it so I don’t utterly destroy myself is sobering to say the least. May the one who knows the beginning from the end continue to refine us until we become spotless and pure.
Think about it, my heart can get so twisted and messed up that God’s original intention gets lost to the point where He chooses to make concessions for my hard heart. That blows my mind. There is the real possibility that my heart can become so hard toward God that He has to step back from his original intention, acknowledge the hardness of my heart, and lay out my life’s path to accommodate my heart’s refusal to submit to Him.
My first response is to ask, “Where are the hard, dead spots in my heart?” What do you intend for me that my heart, in sin, is so twisted up, that You have said, “Okay, here’s what we are going to change so you don’t totally and utterly destroy yourselves?”
For someone who’s pursuing after Jesus, seeking to live a life that is right, the idea that there may be something in my heart that is so entrenched, so hard, that Abba has to make allowances for it so I don’t utterly destroy myself is sobering to say the least. May the one who knows the beginning from the end continue to refine us until we become spotless and pure.
Friday, February 25, 2011
Does God guide me or ride me?
The Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you.
Do not be like a senseless horse or mule that needs a bit and bridle to keep it under control.” Psalm 32:8,9
People often say, “God has to hit me in the head with a 2x4 to get my attention.” I can relate to that. I wonder sometimes if pain is the only thing that gets my attention. When my relationship with God is in 2x4 mode, David’s words cause me to pause. Do not be like a senseless horse or mules that needs a bit and bridle to keep it under control. I’m not sure if they used 2x4’s in David’s time, but I like to think he’s speaking to the notion that God has to do something drastic to direct us or get our attention.
Given David’s words, my picture of a 2x4 has changed to a bit and bridle. So I ask the question, does God have to saddle me up and yank my reins to direct me to the best pathway for my life? Am I that senseless that unless He yanks my reins I’ll wander off into the field of non-usefulness or wander into traffic and get run over by an oncoming bus of disobedience? If a bit and bridle is the reality of my relationship with God, what does that say about me? What does that say about God?
Maybe I’m just plain lazy, or perhaps paralyzed by the fear of getting it wrong. So by sloth or by immobility, God has to rein me in the right direction. Sometimes my petrifaction is so severe that God must dismount and drag me by the reins. This vivid image, God dragging my petrified life to a place that I really do desire to go, motivates me to seek a relationship with God that is not based on the bit and bridle. So I’m pursuing a relationship where communication and respect are the expected norm and the rein to keep me from running off a cliff is the exception and not the rule.
The danger of the bit and bridle relationship is that God becomes the rider and we are the ridden. This type of relationship leads us to view God only as a rider and consists of waiting for God to give us the spurs or yank the reins. I have come to believe that God does not enjoy this type of relationship. The bit and bridle view of relationship leads one to believe that God enjoys being the rider, He is pleased to yank us around by the reins. Let’s go back to the 2x4. Do we think that God enjoys whacking us up side the head to get our attention? If we see God as a stern task master, the cruel rider, we just might think He enjoys whacking us up side the head to get our attention.
Let’s go back to being lazy. We don’t have to think if we’re being like a “senseless horse or mule”. It requires very little mental effort on our part. Very little emotional investment. Very little searching to find out what comes between God and our ability to be in intimate relationship with Him. When the Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you.” This requires mental, emotional, spiritual and physical energy from us. It’s hard work.
My challenge is to keep on it. It IS hard work, this business of being in relationship with our creator. When we ditch the bit and bridle it doesn’t take to long to realize that it’s a serious life commitment to be in relationship with God. The challenge is to keep on it. Keep seeking. Keep asking. Keep knocking. When it gets too hard, when God doesn’t make sense, when His voice isn’t readily heard, it can be appealing to fall back to the ole bit and bridle, to wait for the 2x4 upside the head. The choice is then mine. Senseless mule or faithful friend?
Do not be like a senseless horse or mule that needs a bit and bridle to keep it under control.” Psalm 32:8,9
People often say, “God has to hit me in the head with a 2x4 to get my attention.” I can relate to that. I wonder sometimes if pain is the only thing that gets my attention. When my relationship with God is in 2x4 mode, David’s words cause me to pause. Do not be like a senseless horse or mules that needs a bit and bridle to keep it under control. I’m not sure if they used 2x4’s in David’s time, but I like to think he’s speaking to the notion that God has to do something drastic to direct us or get our attention.
Given David’s words, my picture of a 2x4 has changed to a bit and bridle. So I ask the question, does God have to saddle me up and yank my reins to direct me to the best pathway for my life? Am I that senseless that unless He yanks my reins I’ll wander off into the field of non-usefulness or wander into traffic and get run over by an oncoming bus of disobedience? If a bit and bridle is the reality of my relationship with God, what does that say about me? What does that say about God?
Maybe I’m just plain lazy, or perhaps paralyzed by the fear of getting it wrong. So by sloth or by immobility, God has to rein me in the right direction. Sometimes my petrifaction is so severe that God must dismount and drag me by the reins. This vivid image, God dragging my petrified life to a place that I really do desire to go, motivates me to seek a relationship with God that is not based on the bit and bridle. So I’m pursuing a relationship where communication and respect are the expected norm and the rein to keep me from running off a cliff is the exception and not the rule.
The danger of the bit and bridle relationship is that God becomes the rider and we are the ridden. This type of relationship leads us to view God only as a rider and consists of waiting for God to give us the spurs or yank the reins. I have come to believe that God does not enjoy this type of relationship. The bit and bridle view of relationship leads one to believe that God enjoys being the rider, He is pleased to yank us around by the reins. Let’s go back to the 2x4. Do we think that God enjoys whacking us up side the head to get our attention? If we see God as a stern task master, the cruel rider, we just might think He enjoys whacking us up side the head to get our attention.
Let’s go back to being lazy. We don’t have to think if we’re being like a “senseless horse or mule”. It requires very little mental effort on our part. Very little emotional investment. Very little searching to find out what comes between God and our ability to be in intimate relationship with Him. When the Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you.” This requires mental, emotional, spiritual and physical energy from us. It’s hard work.
My challenge is to keep on it. It IS hard work, this business of being in relationship with our creator. When we ditch the bit and bridle it doesn’t take to long to realize that it’s a serious life commitment to be in relationship with God. The challenge is to keep on it. Keep seeking. Keep asking. Keep knocking. When it gets too hard, when God doesn’t make sense, when His voice isn’t readily heard, it can be appealing to fall back to the ole bit and bridle, to wait for the 2x4 upside the head. The choice is then mine. Senseless mule or faithful friend?
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Life Orbits This Scar.
Life orbits this scar; self inflicted, etched by my own hand, the consequence of my choice.
This monument of torn flesh, revealed when the dust settles and completed after all is said and done, the tangible reminder that I’m not who I want to be.
I can remedy this scar as well as I can recover a lost moment or turn a gray hair dark again.
Living with this frantic desire to hide it and this overwhelming need to reveal it, it fights for possession of my heart, assails my spirit, binds my soul in chains.
This scar. My Scar. A defining mark. The lasting reminder.
He placed His scarred hand over this scar, my scar, this monument to who I have become.
His scar swathes my own.
Life orbits his scar, this chosen exchange, etched by my own hand, the consequences of my choice.
This monument to his torn flesh, revealed the third day, after the dust settled, completed by the words “it is finished”, the tangible reminder that because He is, I am.
His scar is redemption, making all things new.
Living with a quite desire for deeper intimacy and an overwhelming need to share this love, my heart is free, my spirit at peace, my soul, unbound.
This scar. His scar. The defining mark. An everlasting reminder.
This monument of torn flesh, revealed when the dust settles and completed after all is said and done, the tangible reminder that I’m not who I want to be.
I can remedy this scar as well as I can recover a lost moment or turn a gray hair dark again.
Living with this frantic desire to hide it and this overwhelming need to reveal it, it fights for possession of my heart, assails my spirit, binds my soul in chains.
This scar. My Scar. A defining mark. The lasting reminder.
He placed His scarred hand over this scar, my scar, this monument to who I have become.
His scar swathes my own.
Life orbits his scar, this chosen exchange, etched by my own hand, the consequences of my choice.
This monument to his torn flesh, revealed the third day, after the dust settled, completed by the words “it is finished”, the tangible reminder that because He is, I am.
His scar is redemption, making all things new.
Living with a quite desire for deeper intimacy and an overwhelming need to share this love, my heart is free, my spirit at peace, my soul, unbound.
This scar. His scar. The defining mark. An everlasting reminder.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Can You Reach Me Even Now?
Abba, can You hear me? Can You reach me even now?
I’m crushed by the wait.
I’m poured out, spent, emptied.Nothing left to offer. No music in my head. No visual in my mind.
Nothing left to produce the aroma of service or sacrifice.
Just my will, sin twisted, continually seeking its own.
Just my wounds, never sated, a constant demand for comfort,
or satisfaction, or justice, or peace, or love.
Always present, always lurking, always leering
whether I’m spent, or walking in confidence, sin is present.
Will sin be spent? Does lust run out?
Does temptation come to the end of itself?
Does the enemy have access to a limitless supply,
never wearying the art of accusation?
Never reaching the end of his foul resources?
“That’s it, I can’t go on.” Will that ever come out of his mouth?
All of these questions find their rest in Jesus.
Can You hear me? Can You reach me even now?
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