Then Peter came to Him and asked, "Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?"
"No, not seven times," Jesus replied, "but seventy times seven!”
Somewhere along the line, I picked up the idea that I could sin one too many times and the Father would have to “put me on the shelf”. I lived in fear. Every time I sinned, I became less effective in the Kingdom. Every sin “used up” a piece of my righteousness. I lived dreading when the last bit would be consumed. Fearing that there would come a time when my Father would say, “Oh man, what a shame, that was the line, you just crossed it, now I can’t use you anymore. I guess we’ll just have to put you in a box and place you on this shelf.”
The disciple John wrote: “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear: because fear has torment. He that fears is not made perfect in love.”
There is no fear in love.
As I’m unlearning fear, I discover that the forgiveness I am asked to offer others, Jesus offers me. How many times am I to forgive my brother? As many times as He asks. How many times will my Heavenly Father forgive me? As many times as I ask.
There is no fear in love, multiplied seventy times seven.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
So Excited I Miss The Point
I get so excited I miss the point.
Six days later Jesus took Peter and the two brothers, James and John, and led them up a high mountain to be alone. As the men watched, Jesus' appearance was transformed so that His face shone like the sun, and His clothes became as white as light. Suddenly, Moses and Elijah appeared and began talking with Jesus. Peter exclaimed, "Lord, it's wonderful for us to be here! If You want, I'll make three shelters as memorials—one for You, one for Moses, and one for Elijah."
But even as he spoke, a bright cloud overshadowed them, and a voice from the cloud said, "This is My dearly loved Son, who brings Me great joy. Listen to Him." The disciples were terrified and fell face down on the ground.
Then Jesus came over and touched them. "Get up," He said. "Don't be afraid." And when they looked up, Moses and Elijah were gone, and they saw only Jesus.
I relate to Peter here. It would seem that when God does amazing things in my life I very often miss the point. I am so self focused that when God meets me at a point of need, I try to make a memorial out of it. I often find myself building a theology of how God will meet my needs from the experience. “Lord, it’s wonderful for us to be here!” While that maybe true, it leaves the focus on me and what I’m getting out of it. I miss the point. I wonder if sometimes I need to shut up and watch. I need to close my mouth and open my ears.
I wonder if all Jesus wanted to do was to introduce the three disciples to the Father. The Father interacted with the three, “This is My dearly loved Son, who brings Me great joy. Listen to Him." I wonder if Peter felt foolish when His eyes were opened to the larger picture.
As a creative, I live to find ways to creatively tell the story, that’s how I build memorials, but it’s important for me to remember that relationship is more important then memorial. Jesus said his job was to reveal to us the Father. I am finding that all to often I get wrapped up in my stuff to see that.
Six days later Jesus took Peter and the two brothers, James and John, and led them up a high mountain to be alone. As the men watched, Jesus' appearance was transformed so that His face shone like the sun, and His clothes became as white as light. Suddenly, Moses and Elijah appeared and began talking with Jesus. Peter exclaimed, "Lord, it's wonderful for us to be here! If You want, I'll make three shelters as memorials—one for You, one for Moses, and one for Elijah."
But even as he spoke, a bright cloud overshadowed them, and a voice from the cloud said, "This is My dearly loved Son, who brings Me great joy. Listen to Him." The disciples were terrified and fell face down on the ground.
Then Jesus came over and touched them. "Get up," He said. "Don't be afraid." And when they looked up, Moses and Elijah were gone, and they saw only Jesus.
I relate to Peter here. It would seem that when God does amazing things in my life I very often miss the point. I am so self focused that when God meets me at a point of need, I try to make a memorial out of it. I often find myself building a theology of how God will meet my needs from the experience. “Lord, it’s wonderful for us to be here!” While that maybe true, it leaves the focus on me and what I’m getting out of it. I miss the point. I wonder if sometimes I need to shut up and watch. I need to close my mouth and open my ears.
I wonder if all Jesus wanted to do was to introduce the three disciples to the Father. The Father interacted with the three, “This is My dearly loved Son, who brings Me great joy. Listen to Him." I wonder if Peter felt foolish when His eyes were opened to the larger picture.
As a creative, I live to find ways to creatively tell the story, that’s how I build memorials, but it’s important for me to remember that relationship is more important then memorial. Jesus said his job was to reveal to us the Father. I am finding that all to often I get wrapped up in my stuff to see that.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Water Walking Heart
Immediately after this, Jesus insisted that His disciples get back into the boat and cross to the other side of the lake, while He sent the people home. After sending them home, He went up into the hills by Himself to pray. Night fell while He was there alone. Meanwhile, the disciples were in trouble far away from land, for a strong wind had risen, and they were fighting heavy waves.
About three o'clock in the morning Jesus came toward them, walking on the water. When the disciples saw Him walking on the water, they were terrified. In their fear, they cried out, "It's a ghost!" But Jesus spoke to them at once. "Don't be afraid," He said. "Take courage. I am here! "
Then Peter called to Him, "Lord, if it's really You, tell me to come to You, walking on the water."
"Yes, come," Jesus said.
So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus. But when he saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. "Save me, Lord!" he shouted.
Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. "You have so little faith," Jesus said. "Why did you doubt Me?" When they climbed back into the boat, the wind stopped.
Then the disciples worshiped Him. "You really are the Son of God!" they exclaimed.
After they had crossed the lake, they landed at Gennesaret. Matthew 14:22-33 NLT
Water lesson, take two? This is the second time that the disciples had an “on the water” experience. The first time Jesus was sleeping in the boat and the storm threatened to sink them. Jesus questioned them on their faith and their fear. Then He calmed the storm. They were amazed, observing that even the wind and the waves obey His command.
Take two: Jesus intentionally sends them ahead. Did they learn anything from their first water experience? The narrative doesn’t say they were all freaked out but it does tell us they were in trouble, working really hard against the wind and waves. I am sure the fishermen among them were well aware of the gravity of their circumstances. Surmising from the timeline of Jesus appearing at three in the morning, they had been working hard against the wind and waves for possibly up to ten hours. Ten hours of hard sailing/rowing? That would wear on a body. Hard work wears the mind and emotions as well as the body. I imagine myself in the boat, rowing hard. I’m thinking, I’ve been in this storm situation before: Jesus took care of that one, He’ll take care of this one, except He’s not here. After several hours I fight being a little frantic. I’m now tired, worn out even. (Keep working at it.) I’m wondering what’s going on, how is this going to turn out? I’m wondering why Jesus insisted that you head out without Him; I’m assuming He knew what was coming. (Keep working at it.) What’s He after? What am I supposed to learn? Is there something I’m missing here? (Keep working.) Keep moving. I’m really getting tired. Are we going to make it to the other side? I’m not sure I can hold out. (Keep working.) I’m starting to lose it here. Frantic is beginning to take over. There, coming out of the middle of the darkness, what is THAT? NOW I freak out.
It’s not often I find myself in a boat with a bunch of other guys rowing across the sea of Galilee, so where in my life have I had the “take two water lesson”? It’s funny, I always seem to hope that I’ve grown in my faith enough that I don’t have to live the lessons I read about in scripture, fully knowing that it’s these very lessons that grow my faith. Fear seems to be bound deep in the heart.
When I find myself in familiar testing water, I know Jesus is there because He’s met me here before and I’ve been awed by His control of my circumstances. So here I am again, rowing against these familiar waves. Wondering if He’ll show up. Wondering what I’m supposed to learn. Wondering how long I can hang on. Wondering if I have what it takes to make it to the end. Wondering if He’s doing this just to see how I’ll respond. Wondering if He’s sent me on ahead on purpose. Wondering if I missed something. Wondering if there’s a point to all of this. Wondering if it will ever end. I get to the point where I’m physically, emotionally and mentally exhausted. I come to a slow painful realization that unless something changes, I’m in trouble.
In the fullness of this moment the true motivation of my heart is revealed.
I’ve found that I’m really good at explaining the stuff that seems to keep me from living in the fullness of who Jesus made me. Many times my finger points to other people. If they would just…. I’m also learning that the truth remains silent to those not yet able to hear it and I must uncomfortably acknowledge that I’ve not grown enough to be able to see the truth of my heart’s deep motives. So I find myself rowing hard against the waves, close to giving up, or giving in, and it’s here, at this breaking point, I experience the fear I fight so hard to keep from expressing. When I’ve exhausted my own resources, and I’ve exhausted what I know and believe about my Savior, the doors in the deeper chambers of my heart open to reveal the true extent of the good and the bad in me.
When Jesus appeared to his disciples, the full depth of their fear was on full display. And in the same instant, Jesus meets embraces the core of their fear. “Don’t be afraid, take courage, I am here. I’ve stepped out of the middle of the darkness to meet you at your deepest point of need.”
This helps me understand Peter’s response. I like to think that he is reacting from the deepest part of his heart. I’m not sure he doubted that it was Jesus as much as his immediate heart’s cry was to be as close to Him as possible. Peter was fully exposed and Jesus is the only place where the exposed heart is safe. I can feel his depth of soul response to climb out of the safety of the boat to embrace the safety of Jesus.
In the middle of my storm, when I am exposed, I hear the Savior of my heart respond, “Yes, come.” And whether my heart fearlessly dances on the waves in the safety of my Savior’s presence, or my fearful heart cries out “Jesus, save me”, I will take courage in knowing that my heart knows the only place where the exposed heart is safe.
About three o'clock in the morning Jesus came toward them, walking on the water. When the disciples saw Him walking on the water, they were terrified. In their fear, they cried out, "It's a ghost!" But Jesus spoke to them at once. "Don't be afraid," He said. "Take courage. I am here! "
Then Peter called to Him, "Lord, if it's really You, tell me to come to You, walking on the water."
"Yes, come," Jesus said.
So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus. But when he saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. "Save me, Lord!" he shouted.
Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. "You have so little faith," Jesus said. "Why did you doubt Me?" When they climbed back into the boat, the wind stopped.
Then the disciples worshiped Him. "You really are the Son of God!" they exclaimed.
After they had crossed the lake, they landed at Gennesaret. Matthew 14:22-33 NLT
Water lesson, take two? This is the second time that the disciples had an “on the water” experience. The first time Jesus was sleeping in the boat and the storm threatened to sink them. Jesus questioned them on their faith and their fear. Then He calmed the storm. They were amazed, observing that even the wind and the waves obey His command.
Take two: Jesus intentionally sends them ahead. Did they learn anything from their first water experience? The narrative doesn’t say they were all freaked out but it does tell us they were in trouble, working really hard against the wind and waves. I am sure the fishermen among them were well aware of the gravity of their circumstances. Surmising from the timeline of Jesus appearing at three in the morning, they had been working hard against the wind and waves for possibly up to ten hours. Ten hours of hard sailing/rowing? That would wear on a body. Hard work wears the mind and emotions as well as the body. I imagine myself in the boat, rowing hard. I’m thinking, I’ve been in this storm situation before: Jesus took care of that one, He’ll take care of this one, except He’s not here. After several hours I fight being a little frantic. I’m now tired, worn out even. (Keep working at it.) I’m wondering what’s going on, how is this going to turn out? I’m wondering why Jesus insisted that you head out without Him; I’m assuming He knew what was coming. (Keep working at it.) What’s He after? What am I supposed to learn? Is there something I’m missing here? (Keep working.) Keep moving. I’m really getting tired. Are we going to make it to the other side? I’m not sure I can hold out. (Keep working.) I’m starting to lose it here. Frantic is beginning to take over. There, coming out of the middle of the darkness, what is THAT? NOW I freak out.
It’s not often I find myself in a boat with a bunch of other guys rowing across the sea of Galilee, so where in my life have I had the “take two water lesson”? It’s funny, I always seem to hope that I’ve grown in my faith enough that I don’t have to live the lessons I read about in scripture, fully knowing that it’s these very lessons that grow my faith. Fear seems to be bound deep in the heart.
When I find myself in familiar testing water, I know Jesus is there because He’s met me here before and I’ve been awed by His control of my circumstances. So here I am again, rowing against these familiar waves. Wondering if He’ll show up. Wondering what I’m supposed to learn. Wondering how long I can hang on. Wondering if I have what it takes to make it to the end. Wondering if He’s doing this just to see how I’ll respond. Wondering if He’s sent me on ahead on purpose. Wondering if I missed something. Wondering if there’s a point to all of this. Wondering if it will ever end. I get to the point where I’m physically, emotionally and mentally exhausted. I come to a slow painful realization that unless something changes, I’m in trouble.
In the fullness of this moment the true motivation of my heart is revealed.
I’ve found that I’m really good at explaining the stuff that seems to keep me from living in the fullness of who Jesus made me. Many times my finger points to other people. If they would just…. I’m also learning that the truth remains silent to those not yet able to hear it and I must uncomfortably acknowledge that I’ve not grown enough to be able to see the truth of my heart’s deep motives. So I find myself rowing hard against the waves, close to giving up, or giving in, and it’s here, at this breaking point, I experience the fear I fight so hard to keep from expressing. When I’ve exhausted my own resources, and I’ve exhausted what I know and believe about my Savior, the doors in the deeper chambers of my heart open to reveal the true extent of the good and the bad in me.
When Jesus appeared to his disciples, the full depth of their fear was on full display. And in the same instant, Jesus meets embraces the core of their fear. “Don’t be afraid, take courage, I am here. I’ve stepped out of the middle of the darkness to meet you at your deepest point of need.”
This helps me understand Peter’s response. I like to think that he is reacting from the deepest part of his heart. I’m not sure he doubted that it was Jesus as much as his immediate heart’s cry was to be as close to Him as possible. Peter was fully exposed and Jesus is the only place where the exposed heart is safe. I can feel his depth of soul response to climb out of the safety of the boat to embrace the safety of Jesus.
In the middle of my storm, when I am exposed, I hear the Savior of my heart respond, “Yes, come.” And whether my heart fearlessly dances on the waves in the safety of my Savior’s presence, or my fearful heart cries out “Jesus, save me”, I will take courage in knowing that my heart knows the only place where the exposed heart is safe.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
God Knows.
Humility: "I have come to know that God knows, He must teach me."
Pride: "I have come to know what God knows, I must teach you."
Pride: "I have come to know what God knows, I must teach you."
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Faith or Presumption?
When Jesus heard this, He said, "Healthy people don't need a doctor—sick people do." Then He added, "Now go and learn the meaning of this Scripture: 'I want you to show mercy, not offer sacrifices.' For I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners."
What is the difference between faith and presumption?
Then one of the teachers of religious law said to Him, "Teacher, I will follow You wherever You go." But Jesus replied, "Foxes have dens to live in, and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place even to lay His head."
Do I come to Jesus holding on to the conviction that it’s the “right thing to do”, hoping He will respond and meet my need because I’m doing the right thing? Do I come to Jesus in self deprecation, hoping that if He sees that I know how bad I am and I know I deserve to be punished, He’ll respond and show me love? Do I come to Jesus holding in my hands the hope that He will find something in me that is right, validating who I am?
I’ve come to Jesus in these ways. I find that all are presumptuous.
When I come to Jesus because it’s the right thing to do, my actions attempt to limit Jesus to engaging with me only when I’m doing the right thing and obligating Him to action if I am.
When I come to Jesus in self deprecation, I am left empty, having taken responsibility for meting out the punishment of my own sin.
When I come to Jesus expecting Him to validate the righteousness in me, all I find is the finger of conviction on all that is unrighteous in my life.
…two blind men followed along behind Him, shouting, "Son of David, have mercy on us!" They went right into the house where He was staying, and Jesus asked them, "Do you believe I can make you see?" "Yes, Lord," they told Him, "we do." Then He touched their eyes and said, "Because of your faith, it will happen." Then their eyes were opened, and they could see!
I desire to come to Jesus with a heart that knows He is free to choose how to respond. He is free to embrace me; He is free to reject me. My hope is that He will respond, anything beyond that crosses the line from faith to presumption. I am learning that humility is the difference between faith and presumption.
'I want you to show mercy, not offer sacrifices.' For I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners."
Jesus, Son of David, Have mercy on me.
What is the difference between faith and presumption?
Then one of the teachers of religious law said to Him, "Teacher, I will follow You wherever You go." But Jesus replied, "Foxes have dens to live in, and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place even to lay His head."
Do I come to Jesus holding on to the conviction that it’s the “right thing to do”, hoping He will respond and meet my need because I’m doing the right thing? Do I come to Jesus in self deprecation, hoping that if He sees that I know how bad I am and I know I deserve to be punished, He’ll respond and show me love? Do I come to Jesus holding in my hands the hope that He will find something in me that is right, validating who I am?
I’ve come to Jesus in these ways. I find that all are presumptuous.
When I come to Jesus because it’s the right thing to do, my actions attempt to limit Jesus to engaging with me only when I’m doing the right thing and obligating Him to action if I am.
When I come to Jesus in self deprecation, I am left empty, having taken responsibility for meting out the punishment of my own sin.
When I come to Jesus expecting Him to validate the righteousness in me, all I find is the finger of conviction on all that is unrighteous in my life.
…two blind men followed along behind Him, shouting, "Son of David, have mercy on us!" They went right into the house where He was staying, and Jesus asked them, "Do you believe I can make you see?" "Yes, Lord," they told Him, "we do." Then He touched their eyes and said, "Because of your faith, it will happen." Then their eyes were opened, and they could see!
I desire to come to Jesus with a heart that knows He is free to choose how to respond. He is free to embrace me; He is free to reject me. My hope is that He will respond, anything beyond that crosses the line from faith to presumption. I am learning that humility is the difference between faith and presumption.
'I want you to show mercy, not offer sacrifices.' For I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners."
Jesus, Son of David, Have mercy on me.
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