Piranha and Lists

I have this running list in my head of things that I need. It includes every “need” perceived or concrete that exists in my life. I’m not really a list writer, but on occasion I will write this list of needs down. It includes things like my car payment, mortgage, insurance, groceries for the week, gas for the car, these things float at the top of the list because they are recurring. My list also includes clothing, computers, home repair, these things don’t shout at me every day like the top of the list things do. When I read deeper into my list we start coming to things like new front door, better acoustic guitar, and better music work station. And even deeper into the list we have things like, traveling to see friends, paying off long term debt, new furniture. The farther down the list we go, the less pressing the need, but they still make the list.

My realization isn’t about the difference between a want and a need. My head knows that Abba will supply what I need and He often gives me what I want. My realization this morning is about the relationship between my list and how I feel about Abba. It appears that my financial status bears a great deal of influence on my relationship with God.

Here’s how it works. Abba provides. That provision automatically generates a list. The conversation goes like this: “Here’s what’s due today, here’s what we need right now, here’s what’s due this week, here’s what’s due this month, here’s what’s coming up.” And by the time you’ve listed the immediate things, the money in hand is gone. Abba’s provision never seems to cover enough of the list to ease my fear of not being provided for. And before you’re even through allocating funds you’re back to wondering if you’ll be able to “make it”.

Each item on my list is a piranha. The money provided is fresh meat. I’m so thankful for how God provides. I’m relieved that He thinks of me and will send His provision so we can live this life we believe He’s called us to. But as soon as that money “hits the water”, the piranhas swirl and devour. In a flurry each item takes a bite out of the joy of Abba’s provision till there is nothing left but a carcass stripped clean of any peace and rest. The piranhas are NEVER satisfied. They always devour. This list never ends. It always demands provision. There never seems to be a time where we say, “Wow, I can’t think of anything else I could possibly want.” I suspect in my human condition that it will be that way until I no longer have to fight with my old nature.

This is my realization. The more the piranha is fed, the more I feel loved by Abba. My peace and safety are deeply tied to how well I can check things off of the list. The trap is that the list never ends. No sooner has God provided then that provision is swallowed whole and I’m back to the fear of not being provided for. I hate it.

I want to be able to live in the peace of knowing that Abba knows my list. He will sift through what I need and what I don’t need and teach me the difference. But most of all, I want to be able to rest in His timing. To walk in peace in those times when my needs, as I see them, are not being met, to rest knowing that Abba will take care of me.

Following

I choose to follow -

Not because I understand, but because I choose to trust.

I choose to follow-

Not because I like where you're going, but because you have my best in mind.

I choose to follow.

Hands of the living God.

It is a terrible thing to fall into the hands of the living God.

If I receive truth, walk in it, experience it’s weight in my life, and choose to live as though that truth has no bearing on my life, then nothing remains but to reap the consequences of the lie I have chosen to base my life on.

There is no fear in love.

When I am deceived, I separate myself from Love, I become fearful.
When I am deceived, I separate myself from Truth, I become prideful.

This is how we become slaves to the fear of dying.

Hebrews 2:14,15

True Substance

When you mess with the security of your life you uncover the true substance of your faith.

Let Jesus Fill Your Lives

Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom He gives. Colossians 3:16

When Paul comes to the end of his letter to the Colossians, here is part of his admonition to the readers of that letter. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom He gives. What strikes me the most are the words “each other”. I believe that if I am letting the message or Jesus fill me, if I’m letting my roots grow down deep into Jesus (as Paul states earlier in this letter), if I’m letting the richness of the message of who Christ is saturate my life, I will have some wisdom to share with others.

We have, in our church culture, relegated the “sharing of wisdom” to the pastor or the teacher. We must learn by experience that we all, no matter where we are in our walk with Jesus, have something to share. We all have something to offer. So when we gather, we don’t come together to receive, we come together to give, to offer the wisdom that has come from letting Christ, in all his richness, fill our lives.

We are so indoctrinated into coming to church to get. Many of us believe that we really don’t have anything to offer. We’re too young, or not in the right place in life, or don’t have that gift, or haven’t taken the responsibility. Whatever our reason, we’ve given the task of “giving” to the “pastor”. I really believe that until we understand that each of us has a piece to give that we’ll be frustrated in our gatherings, feeling like something is missing or like they are just a “social” time.

When I am letting Jesus fill my life, and understanding the wisdom He is sharing (remembering that knowledge plus experience equals wisdom), when we come together and I share, that will encourage, or convict, or teach someone else and when they share, I will be encouraged, or convicted, or taught. And so the family of God serves each other and growth happens naturally. But if we come together with nothing to share, we sit around and look at each other and wonder what’s wrong.

So here's the question. What has Jesus shared with you that You are to share with others. Understand it doesn’t have to be “earth shattering” or plumbed from the depths of theology. Wisdom is wisdom and Jesus shares it as He sees fit. What is it Jesus wants you to share?

Can you think of anything? If you can’t, what are you going to do about that?

Following Motivation

We always pray for you, and we give thanks to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. For we have heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and your love for all of God's people, which come from your confident hope of what God has reserved for you in heaven. You have had this expectation ever since you first heard the truth of the Good News. This same Good News that came to you is going out all over the world. It is bearing fruit everywhere by changing lives, just as it changed your lives from the day you first heard and understood the truth about God's wonderful grace. Colossians 1:4-6 NLT

I love it when I read scripture and the Holy Spirit asks me a question to something that I can’t answer right away. If I have been following Jesus for 30 years, I think I should have a pretty good handle on what it means to follow after Him. The Holy Spirit has a wonderful way of humbling me without crushing me. This passage is a good case in point.

Paul is writing to the Colossians and commends them for their faith and love. Would that Paul could write a letter to us and do the same thing. But here’s the humbling part. Their faith in Christ and love for God’s people came from something. It was based on something. Paul alludes to it but never really names, at least in this part of the letter, what it is. “For we have heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and your love for all of God's people, which come from your confident hope of what God has reserved for you in heaven.” They where bound together by faith, love and hope. A confident hope at that. Of what? Of what God had reserved for them in heaven.

So here’s my question. What is it God has reserved for you in heaven? Do you know? How hard do you have to think about it? For me I had to pause and think. How humbling. I think that after 30 years I should be able to recount what God has reserved for me in heaven. But I had to pause and think about it. What is it God has reserved for me? Not having this answer in the forefront of my mind leads me to ask the next one. Is this confident hope of what Goad has reserved for me in heaven the reason I follow Jesus? It would seem that if I fully understand what is reserved for me in heaven, then following Jesus in my day to day life might be put into a different perspective. Challenges would take on a different meaning. Those difficult people in my life might look a little different through the lens of what is reserved for me in heaven.

And the REALLY humbling question for me is this. If I have to pause and think about what God has reserved for me in heaven, what am I REALLY basing my confident hope on? What lens am I using to looking at the stuff in my life? What REALLY motivates me to follow Jesus?

So how about it? Why are you following Jesus?

As for me, I’m going to spend the next little while answering that question.